Old People's Stuff

For this week I found a rather interesting article.  It's When Possessions Lead to Paralysis by Paula Span. The article is about an in-progress study about the effects of things on old people--specifically their ability to move.  Not whether they can walk through their house (although some hoarders probably have problems with that), but rather about their ability to move into a smaller home, or assisted living, which is something that many old people have to do eventually.



Because the study is still in-progress, there aren't any solid conclusions that Dr David J. Ekerdt is willing to put his name to yet, but I'm interested to see what comes of it.  Will we learn that old people are happier without as much stuff? Or will we learn that they feel as if they've had their life stolen from them, along with their possessions?  Something to keep an eye out for over the next few years.

In the meantime what Dr. Ekerdt is willing to say is that there are two attitudes family members adopt during "household disbandment."  The first, and understandably more pleasant to be around, is when the family members assist the elderly by asking where things go, and which things they'd like to hang on to.  This sounds like an amicable way to spend an afternoon, knowing that you're helping your older relatives make hard decisions--but ones that will ultimately be for the best.

This is not the method that would ever work in my family, but luckily there's another option.  This second one is where the family members 'assert' themselves and make their own decisions about the things to keep and the things to get rid of, which might be because the elderly family member is unable to help, because there's a deadline, or because Grandma is simply unpleasant to be around and your mom is controlling (this is the method we used with my now-deceased grandmother's stuff).

Obviously the first one is the preferred method (and I hope that all of you like your parents/grandparents enough to go through with it), but all this talk of old people and their stuff reminds me that I still have two living grandparents.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love my grandparents quite a lot.  But they have a lot of stuff. You can't always tell by looking at their house, which is generally tidy and, while there's some happy-clutter around the edges, it's nothing that should be on TV.  But if you're visiting my grandparents, I wouldn't suggest opening any of the cupboards.

They get so focused on buying things on sale, that the stuff has accumulated and reproduced and...well, let me paint you a word-picture:

A few Christmases ago, we were debating what Japanese city the Olympics had been in.  Whoever was debating thought that we'd be able to recall the city if we had a map of Japan, and so someone asked my grandparents if they had an atlas.  After the more obvious places had been searched, it was suggested that we look in the attic.

This is that small-house sort of attic which opens with a trap-door in the ceiling with a partial ladder attached.  A step-stool was brought, correctly placed, and the attic was opened...

...And down came a literal cascade of silverware.  It rained forks and spoons and possibly knives for a few moments, then stopped. Then started again. Then stopped.  Then that one last, lonely spoon tipped over the edge and clattered down with the rest of them.

We never did find the atlas.

I wouldn't call my grandparents hoarders, but rather collectors of things (things on sale, things from garage sales, things they forgot to get rid of), but this rampant collecting of things makes me terrified of the day we've got to go through their house, whether it's to move them or remember them.

It's hard to judge when, exactly those beloved possessions begin to tie you down, and I bet it's equally hard to go through your belongings when you've only half a memory which tells you that this thing is important, but perhaps not why it does. So I think--and I hope I remember this in 40 years--that it might be a wonderful recommendation for us to begin going through our stuff before we lose our minds and our memories.  For example, when you hit retirement, try to give away (or otherwise get rid of) a box or two of things which you don't need any more every year--or to go through a cabinet/drawer/box-in-the-attic every year.

It'll help you keep your mobility when you most need it, and it will help ensure that your most treasured possessions still manage to move with you when you go. Plus, if you live long enough to go through everything, you can always start over again.